The Skills of a good Coach
“Every child can learn and would want to learn.” That is my school’s philosophy. “Everyone can learn and need to learn.” This is my faith in our species’ survival instinct. Learning is a need, a basic need. It is a desire of the human race to make sense, to understand, to comprehend. This basic need drives us to learn and we are intrinsically motivated to do so. From the moment we enter this world, we begin to satisfy this need. We are curious about everything that happens around us. I am here writing and reflecting not just because I choose to learn but also because I need to learn, I want to learn. I believe that I can learn anything I choose to, including being a good coach.
In my life thus far, good teachers have always played important roles at turning points of my life. When I was in secondary two, I had a Mathematics teacher, Mr Toh Ah Tee. He was a traditional teacher whose method of teaching was, by today’s standard, archaic. He used only one pedagogy, chalk-and-talk. Because of his strict insistence on a systematic way to solve Mathematical problems and a belief in his students’ ability to solve them, I began to understand and excel in Mathematics. .I also become a very good problem solver in other areas of my life. He was a traditional coach and not a GROW ME coach. Even then, he was able to bring out my intrinsic motivation to learn through his passion for the subject and the sincerity in his teaching.
In Junior College, a Caucasian GP teacher, whose name I have forgotten, provided a conducive environment for dialogues to take place. He was always challenging us with thought provoking questions. I was still very much a problem solver but through him, I learnt how to ask questions and not just offer solutions. Today, I am still very much a problem solver but I like to ask questions. This problem solver role reminds me of the main character in the book “Change your questions, change your life” by Marilee Adams. He prided himself as the problem solver and it was precisely this role that was getting him into trouble. As a coach we can help to change people’s life by prompting them with learner questions such as What do you want? What happened? What’s useful here? What can you learn? What are you responsible for? What’s possible? What are your choices? To be a good coach, we should avoid judger questions such as Why are you such a failure? Why are you so stupid? What’s wrong with you?
My daughter enjoys talking to the toys on her rocker. Each time we fix the toys on for her to play, she would engage the toys in long conversation (incomprehensible to us of course). We don’t get the same kind of attention and response when we speak to her. The toys can’t talk. May be that’s why she is able to say more. The toys “listen” and give my daughter her full attention when she speaks. May be my daughter is trying to teach me to talk less and listen more, a key skill of a coach. A coach needs to listen with his heart and mind. He must suspend judgement so that the learner has the opportunity to articulate his or her ideas. A sculpture outside the UOB building aptly summarised it. The sculpture, Homage to Newton by Salvador Dali showed Newton with an apple falling from his right hand. He has an open torso with a suspended heart and an open head. A coach should listen with an open heart and an open mind, like Newton.
A good coach also needs to respect the learner’s ability to learn. He should not carry the learner’s monkeys. Learners are totally capable of carrying their own monkeys. The coach must genuinely respect the learner as an individual and through his body language conveys that respect for others. Feedback, especially negative feedback is not always easy to give but when it is given with respect and both the coach and the learner have been investing in the quality of their relationship, feedback becomes a sincere evaluation.
Chris
In my life thus far, good teachers have always played important roles at turning points of my life. When I was in secondary two, I had a Mathematics teacher, Mr Toh Ah Tee. He was a traditional teacher whose method of teaching was, by today’s standard, archaic. He used only one pedagogy, chalk-and-talk. Because of his strict insistence on a systematic way to solve Mathematical problems and a belief in his students’ ability to solve them, I began to understand and excel in Mathematics. .I also become a very good problem solver in other areas of my life. He was a traditional coach and not a GROW ME coach. Even then, he was able to bring out my intrinsic motivation to learn through his passion for the subject and the sincerity in his teaching.
In Junior College, a Caucasian GP teacher, whose name I have forgotten, provided a conducive environment for dialogues to take place. He was always challenging us with thought provoking questions. I was still very much a problem solver but through him, I learnt how to ask questions and not just offer solutions. Today, I am still very much a problem solver but I like to ask questions. This problem solver role reminds me of the main character in the book “Change your questions, change your life” by Marilee Adams. He prided himself as the problem solver and it was precisely this role that was getting him into trouble. As a coach we can help to change people’s life by prompting them with learner questions such as What do you want? What happened? What’s useful here? What can you learn? What are you responsible for? What’s possible? What are your choices? To be a good coach, we should avoid judger questions such as Why are you such a failure? Why are you so stupid? What’s wrong with you?
My daughter enjoys talking to the toys on her rocker. Each time we fix the toys on for her to play, she would engage the toys in long conversation (incomprehensible to us of course). We don’t get the same kind of attention and response when we speak to her. The toys can’t talk. May be that’s why she is able to say more. The toys “listen” and give my daughter her full attention when she speaks. May be my daughter is trying to teach me to talk less and listen more, a key skill of a coach. A coach needs to listen with his heart and mind. He must suspend judgement so that the learner has the opportunity to articulate his or her ideas. A sculpture outside the UOB building aptly summarised it. The sculpture, Homage to Newton by Salvador Dali showed Newton with an apple falling from his right hand. He has an open torso with a suspended heart and an open head. A coach should listen with an open heart and an open mind, like Newton.
A good coach also needs to respect the learner’s ability to learn. He should not carry the learner’s monkeys. Learners are totally capable of carrying their own monkeys. The coach must genuinely respect the learner as an individual and through his body language conveys that respect for others. Feedback, especially negative feedback is not always easy to give but when it is given with respect and both the coach and the learner have been investing in the quality of their relationship, feedback becomes a sincere evaluation.
Chris
Labels: DDM Jan 07
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